Weather Report

Oh my, is it ever thundering out there...I love it!

I think it's about...

Day three of the Headache That Will Not Die. I wonder how long this can go on before something vital, like my piano lessons, or how to ride a bicycle or where I live simply melts away.

I finished reading The Kite Runner tonight. Oh my. It's a beautiful tale, not in the conventional sense, of course. Nothing with that much horror in it could truly be called beautiful. Rather, it is beautiful in the sense that along with the very worst of human nature, this story also shows some of the best of human nature in the protagonist's quest for redemption, and ultimately forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a theme in our house these days. Dear Daughter was hurt recently by a friend in the careless, thoughtless way that good friends do hurt one another. I don't think the other child even realizes the slight that has been paid, but Dear Daughter feels it keenly nonetheless. We talked tonight about the power of true forgiveness, and how it can relieve the forgiver of the burden of the original hurt. She's promised to consider forgiving her friend, and I hope, for both their sakes, that she will be able to.

On our roadtrip this weekend, I revisited Don Henley's stunningly brilliant album The End of the Innocence. For all it's careful production and orchestrated background vocals, it really is a rare collection that offers an unflinching look into a man's soul. I've thought before it would make a good soundtrack for a musical, so long as the librettist took good care not to become maudlin with it. Henley visits a lot of themes in these ten songs--including guilt, depression, gluttony, despair, loss--all with lovingly crafted melodies and a voice that knows whereof he sings. Twenty years after it was first released, it's still a good listen now and again.

And that last song (which, if you're reading this and you care to, you will have to look up for yourself) is the one, that despite being played only a bazillion times on every FM station in the free world, really crowns the collection. It really is about forgiveness...even if you don't need me anymore.

List of Things I've Been Thinking About

Okay, so I've fallen off the radar for a while. There's a lot going on--inside and outside my head. I could have been blogging more often, but for reasons that are legion, I haven't. I will try to ease back into it. It's raining outside--a long, slow and noisy rain without thunder and lightning. It's the best nighttime kind of rain. I'd rather be listening to it than tapping away at the computer.

We saw this praying mantis tonight. She must have been seven inches long, and had crawled into a wrought-iron trash receptacle to hide from the rain. When we peeked at her and whipped out the cell phone camera to try and photograph her, she came out for a look at us. I don't think she was one bit scared of us. This is what I think aliens must look like.

I'm tired of being sad. I'm trying not to be anymore. It's going to take me a little while longer though. Bear with me, please.

Some people have disappointed me lately. Now, I know I'm not supposed to step up unreasonable expectations for others, but sometimes a let-down is justifiable. And yes, by the way, I'm on the top of this list too.

I really miss ice skating. I was never great at it, but I was adequate for someone who started in middle age. I feel young and nimble on the ice, even if I'm not quite either. I'm sure there are draft horses that dream of flying too.

Nothing smells better than fresh sliced ginger, with the possible exceptions of sesame oil warming slowly in a pan, or that spot beneath the ear of a sleeping loved one.

Isn't it funny how years later certain songs and moments can trigger a memory that has lain dormant? Startling, sometimes.

I dream in black and white these days, if even I dream at all...

Word to Yo Mother...

While I'm up here on my soapbox, surveying my domain like some free-wheeling, redheaded socialist Yertle the Turtle, read this blog. Gotta love a home-schoolin', cheese-makin', chicken-raising, compost-cooking mutha....

There is no Joy in Memphis

I love my hometown. It's a weird little place with all kinds of odd people, places and customs. We have a spotty history; decaying neighborhoods; startling areas of shiny, perky gentrification; appalling suburbs with mile after mile of identically dull and predictable strip malls. Still, this was a good place to grow up. I consider it a good place to raise my daughter. The cost of living is fairly reasonable, I earn a decent living (even if I manage it poorly), there are kind and generous souls living here. All in all, my slice of the city really does live up to its historical name: The City of Good Abode.

Tonight, I am grieving for my city. It is, or rather was, Election Day, and true to form, we have absolutely squandered the opportunity to rid ourselves of a homegrown despot, the self-annointed "king" of Memphis, W. W. Herenton. Hizzoner has been in office for since the 1990s now, and has just been re-elected for another four years. Roughly one-third of the eligible electorate in the city participated in the election. One-third? A mere three of every ten adults, who are citizens, have not committed a felony and who have actually made the effort to REGISTER to vote got up off the couch, drove or walked to the polls and touched an interactive computer screen and cast a ballot.

And the very best this three-of-ten could come up with was to re-elect Herenton...? Oh friends, it is a very dark day when this is the best we can do. This man has raped the city repeatedly, both literally and figuratively--first as a city school principal, then as city schools superintendent, and for the past 16 years as mayor.

Of the four major candidates who ran for mayor, two of them were actually decent people who care about this city. Neither of them won. We're stuck with the status quo, and I'm mad as hell about it. Three out of ten. Lessee, counting on my fingers (which, due to the amount of Mezzaluna I'm consuming is getting a little chancy), I can account for approximately 25 people I know personally who voted for a far better candidate than Dub-Dub. Gosh, if everyone who actually voted for her had pleaded, cajoled, wheedled and annoyed at least 25 people to get out and vote (and vote responsibly), things might be a little different.

And this isn't just about my candidate losing; this is about Memphis currently being number one on some pretty negative lists--such as the highest murder rate in the nation, the highest crime rate in the nation, the lowest public school test scores in the state, bankruptcy capital of the nation, home to more election felons than any other place in the U.S. I could go on.

I want my city back. I worked hard all spring and summer in hopes of getting it back. We lost tonight. I'm sad.

Congratulations, Memphis. You got exactly what you asked for. Four more years of graft, murder, arrogance, corruption, disdain for the public good, racial division, squandering of public resources and bickering amongst our duly elected "officials."

I love my hometown, but tonight, oh tonight, I'm in tears. We blew it, people. We f***ing blew it bigtime.

Bits and Pieces

I'm blogging from my bedside because I just feel like 30 miles of bad road. I don't know if it's my upward-spiraling age, the weather or what, but I've noticed I'm spending more days hurting than not. Today was a stinker. The day dawned with clear skies and no rain in the immediate forecast, but I spent most of the night shifting and unable to find a position that didn't drag down my big joints or create new pressure on the little ones. The upshot was I woke up exhausted and burning in every bone. I don't like days like this.

Still turning the 8-ball, for those of you keeping up with this thread. No definite answers yet.

Kevan, the check really is in the mail (actually, you should have it today). A vote for Carol Chumney for city mayor is a considerate vote asking for rationality and impartiality in our city government. Yes, she blinks alot--it's because she's human, not a political automaton. Yes, she's made some blunders on the city council, but she doesn't take bribes, swear at news cameras, grant favors both public or private to friends and family, or pass out in local bars. She's a sensible woman with a passionate love for this crazy city that is often very difficult to love. She wants very much to make a difference in Memphis, and I think she will honestly try to work with the council, the school board, local business entities and regional governments to address issues plaguing the city.

Mom is still doing pretty well, despite chronic shortness of breath. She is in Alaska until this weekend and then goes to Park City, Utah. Yes, she really did carry pork barbecue in her suitcase on the trip up there. Only my mother... Radiation starts when she returns.

It's trying to turn to fall here and the leaves aren't as pretty as they could be because of the drought...still, my heart is warm and merry for the changing of the season.

I get a yes, no or maybe

from the magic eight-ball of my mind...Cory Branan is chock-full of words of wisdom today.

The Ouija board in my brain keeps pointing to "run away, run away!"

If you care to chime in with your vote on the matter, the comments board is activated for your convenience.